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All I`m saying is that the cheese grater wouldn`t have 4 sides if they wanted you to wash it after every use.
Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn`t predator an alien too? They should`ve just called it "Some Aliens"
Last night I dreamed I was eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up in the morning, my pillow was gone...
Another beautiful morning I wish I was sleeping through.
Childless people wondering what it`s like to have some kiddos? Make a lovely healthy breakfast. Take it and throw it all over the floor.
I am addicted to Cold Turkey. Not sure how I will ever quit that one.
It`s 2014, people. Isn`t it about time we put an end to all this `wake up in the morning and go to work` nonsense?
A boob job sounds like the best job in the world.
My New Years resolution is always don’t die. So far so good.
Dear future boyfriend/girlfriend, where the hell are you?
Life is just like a p@nis: Simple, relaxed and hanging freely, It`s the women who make it hard.
Having a dog around pretty much denies any opportunity to take advantage of the 5 second rule
In other news millions of facebook user suddenly got their law degree
You`re right, vodka. This is the perfect time to use a hammer.
Instead of LOL, try SALTS ( smiled a little, then stopped)