Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I used to drink a lot in the 80s. Then I realized, who cares what the temperature is?
I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon.... I think I am going to be pretty good at it.
I have the body of a God. Unfortunately, it`s Buddha.
It’s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again.
Every morning I check my girlfriends horoscope to see what kind of day I`m going to have.
I`ve decided that I`m an ass man. Don`t get me wrong, horses are beautiful. They just aren`t as cute as donkeys.
Mary had a little lamb,,the midwife fainted
If I was stuck on a desert island with only one record, I would want it to be the record for being able to swim the farthest.
A panda never pays his bills, because he eats shoots and leaves!!!
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... The five stages of waking up.
Talk to your kids about drugs. Maybe they have better connections than you.
My head has that drunk on cheap alcohol feel without me getting to actually drink the alcohol :(
That one day of fame on Facebook because it`s your birthday.
Currently training for when they inevitably make drinking an Olympic sport.
Sometimes when I’m feeling lonely, I head on over to Best Buy and pretend to know nothing about my phone.