Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have an inferiority complex, but it`s not a very good one.
If people are what they eat, some people must eat a lot of stupid.
This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she`s never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf.
I love going for walks in the rain. You can pee your pants and no one will be the wiser.
I got this new calorie counting app ... Every day I go for a new high score ... Winning!
The only thing worse than having a song stuck in your head for an entire day is not knowing the name of the song.
What are nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What are nuts on the chest? Chestnuts. What are nuts against a chin? Blow job.
The sucking moment when you wave to someone & they haven`t noticed you & all are watching you & you feel why you waved in the first place & still you run after the person to stop & say HI
“I demand a recount.” – Me, in a nugget dispute at McDonald’s.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they say "to boldly go where no one has gone before", when they get there, they always meet someone?
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children, don’t know very much about children.
I`m astounded at how fast my "I survived Ebola" t-shirt got me to the front of the Black Friday lines this year..
Here`s to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store
*Hears a joke about a chocolate bar* *Snickers*
When I finish eating something I have to show my hands to the dog like I`m a blackjack dealer...