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As soon as the Zombie Apocalypse hits I`m grabbing a sledgehammer and heading down to the local cemetery for the greatest game of Whack-A-Mole ever.
The worst thing about that guy who posts non-stop gym updates is that all that exercise is gonna make him live longer.
I only accept apologies in cash.
Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not an egg timer?
Think of a number between 0 and 20. Add 40 to it. Multiply by 2. Subtract 3. Now close your eyes.... It`s dark isn`t it.
Why non-smokers don`t take bubble blowing breaks is beyond me
In reference to why men can sleep with lots a women and it’s fine, but women can’t sleep with lots of men or else they’re whores. “If a key opens a lot of locks, it’s a master key. But if a lock is opened by a lot of different keys, it’s just a sh!tty lock.”
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It`s not hard.
Can you find the the mistake? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Click Funny if you did..
It really pisses me off when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the damn script.
It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them,The police call it indecent exposure but whatever...
Statement: "Do you really love me?" True Meaning: "Ive done something stupid and youre going to find out sooner or later."
Note to Self: These Note to Selves don’t work.
Sorry I hung up on you, I didn`t mean to answer the call.