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Maybe teenagers just aren`t strong enough yet to remove the sticker from their hat
Netflix is raising rates again? Man, whoever`s password I`m using has got to be pissed!
Everyone has fitness goals and Iām over here like, if I burn this many calories I can eat a whole pizza.
At the end of the day, it`s 11:59pm.
The term "bath toys" has a whole new meaning when you`re an adult
this guy with binoculars has been watching me watch him with binoculars and i don`t know who`s winning
You`re not laughing out loud. You know it and I know it
I might not be smarter than a 5th grader, but I can buy beer.
Cats constantly look at you like you just asked them for a ride to the airport.
Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn`t made plans, and wondering how you hurt your back.
Note: the 5 second rule does not apply to soup.
I eat my salad without dressing because who has time to put on clothes...
Just once I`d like to walk down the aisle, take my vows, say I do...Without being dragged out being told, "Ma`am, you`re not the bride..."
If you see me out somewhere and act like you didn`t, you should know that I ignored you first.
They need to put more spider poison in hairspray.