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Besides creating dinosaurs are mosquitos good for anything?
I hate having to work for a living. But I hate starving even more.
Dancing in the 70`s: I have absolutely no idea what I am pointing at
It`s never too late to follow your dreams. Unless your dream is to be a child actor, in which case yes, it`s too late.
I think the golden rule for men should be, don’t say anything to a woman at work that you wouldn’t want another man to say to you in prison.
There is no number for what just happened in that bathroom.
Shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is.
You know you`re a bad driver when Siri tells you "after 400 feet stop and let me out"
I sooo did not want to go on a run today but those cops came out of nowhere.
I`ve been calling my wife "honey" for 12 years because I don`t know how to tell her I forgot her name.
Boobs are like model trains. They were originally for children but grown men always want to play with them.
New marital Status update : Taken, but only for GRANTED
Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
That awkward moment when you are killing it on Mario Kart & then realize you are looking at the wrong side of the screen.
I suppose cougar is a better term than old whore.