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The difference between “like” “love” and “in love” is the same as the difference between “for now” “for a while” and “forever”
Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
I may not be the smartest guy in the world, or the richest guy in the world, or the best-looking guy in the world, but,....Oh,hell. Now I`m depressed.
I can already tell it`s going to be another one of those mornings where I`m not rich and famous.
"Polar bears can`t jump." - Black bears
Weird that we don`t see more pants on fire
“I don’t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others’ lives sounds fun!” – How I got out of jury duty
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
There is always light at the end of the tunnel. It might be a train or a truck so dont let it hit you.
If I owned a copy shop, I’d only hire identical twins to work there.
Just looked at the price of baby strollers. I think were gonna have an indoor baby.
Love means never having to say you’re sorry until you`ve thought up a good excuse.
Judging by the commercials, only old white guys with sailboats can suffer from erectile dysfunction.
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice.
The race to get Dad a Christmas present usually ends in a tie.