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That awkward moment when you give the same Hallmark card two years in a row.
I think the cats are hording all the single women out there...
Life rarely hands me anything. Am I in the wrong line?
Just heard about the Obamacare deadline and I`m freaking out. I have so many questions. Who is Obama?
My friends were alway so nice. They were like "of course you`re not fat! Come on, grab two chairs and sit with us" :)
So, when people say "LOLZ", does that mean they laughed themselves to sleep?
It`s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager.
Announcement: .. the Time Travelers Meeting scheduled for today will be held last Thursday
Who`s more foolish, a fool or the person who takes a fool`s advice?
I need to find a job where I am paid solely on how awesome I am.
The problem with this generation? The cartoons suck.
Sometimes the problem with reality is the lack of background music.
I’ve found that the things I’m most interested in aren’t really in my best interest.
I can’t remember ever being told I’m a bad listener
You know that look women get when they want sex ? ..........me neither.