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Before the internet I used to like people.
I watched Americas Got Talent for 15 minutes and I beg to differ.
How to get a woman mad in 2 easy steps: 1. Take a picture of her. 2. Don`t show it to her.
Watching someone else play a video game is like watching someone who won`t let you join in while they`re masturbating.
When people ask me if I`m working hard or hardly working, I like to stab them with a pen and ask if they`re hurting hard or hardly hurting.
I was visited by three spirits last night, Vodka, Rum And Gin. . .
I don`t want to be bothered with stupid $h!t today. What is stupid $h!t? Anything I don`t want to be bothered with.
Running away does not help with the problems unless you are fat
All I`m saying is you don`t see many neck tattoos on Jeopardy.
cuss words = sentence enhancers
After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me " maybe life isn`t for everyone"
Apparently putting alka seltzers in my pockets while getting baptized and pretending I`m possessed by the devil is not funny.
I thinking about how im disgusted by holding a gas pump but yet, I have no problem drinking my beer from a cup that ten other people drank out of, and a backwash covered ping pong ball was just thrown into it after hitting a dirty a$$ garage floor??
Remember when you thought you’d have it all together by the time you were the age you are now? LOL
I`m terribly conflicted when people I hate from work, bring cupcakes.