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When my boss is in town, I set out pictures of kids on my desk. They aren`t my kids but he`d never fire a Mom of seven, right?
Is it just me or does chocolate taste even better late at night, hence the the last four letters of the word chocoLATE?!
It`s impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone.
Should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind, should all acquaintance be forgot and somebody refill my wine.
why do wise people never make wisecracks?
Sometimes I write "This is a hold up. I have a gun." in the memo of the checks I write for people and pray they cash them at the teller.
If my cats have taught me anything, its how to ignore people.
Just so you know, when you repeat what you just said I won`t be listening then either.
Spent 40 minutes on the treadmill this morning. Next time I might turn it on.
Taxes are like a subscription to your country that you can`t cancel, no matter how bad the service gets.
I have no time or patience for games in my relationships. Unless by “games” you’re referring to naked Twister. I can make time for that.
Spruce up your weeknight: run the dishwasher and imagine you`re on a cruise!
If you boil a clown, do you get laughing stock?
Me: "Sorry I`m late. Car trouble." Him: "What kind of car trouble?" Me: "It doesn`t go 200 miles an hour to compensate for my late start."
Sleep is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is police.