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I don’t think it’s a coincidence that morning and mourning sound the same.
GF: Does this dress make my a$$ look big? BF: Nope Your A$$ makes the dress look big.
ah Saturday, where it`s socially acceptable to drink in the morning. ;)
If you see me smiling it`s because I`m thinking of doing something evil or naughty ... If you see me laughing it`s because I`ve already done it
At hotels, you can either take a helicopter tour of the city or drink the bottle of water on the table. They cost the same.
Don`t play stupid with me! I`m better at it.
If you`re reading this then I`m wishing you a Happy New Year! Stay safe, have fun, and remember, I like New Years gifts too!
Got bored today so I dressed up in tan pants and a blue shirt then went into Best Buy and quit.
Before I die I`m going to eat a bag of popcorn kernels. My cremation should be spectacular.
Any time someone says "have you seen that YouTube video?" I always say yes......... Because otherwise they make you watch it on their phone
Love going into a crowded area and yelling, "Hey stupid!!" and seeing how many people turn around.
First you`re telling me to be myself, then you`re telling me to stop being an idiot. Make up your mind!
I did all I can do. I can´t do no more
“You look tired” is just a polite way to tell someone they look like sh*t.
How come they didn`t call this years game the BUD bowl?