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Why are there stitch marks on zombies? Who the heck is giving them medical attention?!
Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it`s to be less of a nerd.
I chose the wrong fork in the road, took the road less travelled and got off the beaten path and now I don`t know where the hell I am.
And by "whatever" I mean f*ck you.
My fridge is just hospice for vegetables.
Mom: You haven`t moved since I left 5 hours ago? Me: Excuse me, where do you think these chips came from!!???
I wish the Microsoft Paperclip would just pop up when I’m making a questionable decision for my life.
"Goodbye, everyone. I`ll remember you all in therapy." -Me, leaving a family reunion.
Social media is great if you like socializing without wearing pants.
"Crazy" is just another name for "Someone who knows how to have fun"
The parents with the ugliest babies take and post the most pictures.
Some days are better than others. And those days always involve alcohol.
Everyone hates performance enhancing drugs. Yet, everyone loves Captain America.
If you love something,, let it go..... That`s EXACTLY what I`ve done with my body....
It’s not pretty being easy.