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therapy is expensive...vodka is not. need I say more....
I`m not sure what my spirit animal is, but I`m sure it has Rabies.
I was offering free mammograms in the company parking lot long before my employer was doing it ... just sayin
Changing a whole text message just because you didn`t know how to spell one word?
Anyone that says I`m a lover not a fighter has clearly never been in a relationship over 6 months
Lying about my age is easier now that I have trouble remembering what it is.
I’ve got a friend whose nickname is “Shagger”. You might think that’s pretty cool. She doesn’t like it
Save water. Shower with me. ;)
I’ve been searching for my stolen bed. And I won’t rest until I find it.
Sorry, but breaking up with you on facebook was the best way of letting all your friends know I`m available.
My cat just dragged in a half eaten sausage, I have no idea where he got it from but it tastes expensive.
Fact: if you give your boyfriend a bj each time you act crazy, he`ll not only forgive you,but eventually be thrilled when you act nuts.
They`ve been farting with my facebook again. It`s like the old days when the the girl you woke up with wasn`t the one you went to bed with.
Folks, there`s no need to say GOODNIGHT on Facebook. NO ONE will be thinking " hey where did they go".
Living alone is pretty cool, I don`t even know if my bathroom door closes