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Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
All my childhood invisible friends are probably doctors and lawyers now.
"No comment" - said no woman, ever
Life is not fair. But life is not fair for everyone, which actually makes it fair.
Tenderizing the meat sounds a lot sexier than it is
When people stay in a horrific relationship instead of breaking up, I assume they killed someone together.
The art of taking a self pic fast enough that no one sees you. The Stealthfie.
I bet short people get really excited when they accidentally hit their head on things.
So if a dentist makes money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should we trust a toothbrush that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
My mother always used to think that my friends were bad influences. ..I wonder if she`s figured out yet that I was the one coming up with all the ideas? ;)
I`m at my most badass when I`m popping a wheelie with a shopping cart.
What do we want? An end to auto-correct errors! When do we want it? Cow! Sow! Bow! Tow! Duck this...
If I was gonna make a bomb, I`d use the same color wire for the whole thing.
The ultimate home security system is just having crappy stuff.
Just heard a lady say "When in doubt, get a pizza"... I don`t know who this woman is but she`s my new life coach.