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They call cat people crazy but they`re not the ones outside at 5AM putting fresh dog poop into little baggies.
I don`t have a smartphone I have a phone that shows potential but doesn`t apply itself
If you think you hate me now, wait till I start answering your rhetorical questions.
I hate it when I put on my apple bottom jeans and cannot find my boots with da fur!!
I`ve learned to take life as it comes...straight with no chaser.....
What flickering lights mean: 1% electrical problems. 99% demons.
I hate when I drop my pen on the floor and it`s slightly out of reach so I leave it there forever.
Stand for what you believe in. Or sit on the couch and have a couple of donuts. It`s a free country really.
They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what! Who wants to be in a hurry?!?
If you love someone, let them go, if they don`t come back..... Set them on fire *evil grin*
My love for you is beyond words so don’t expect a Valentine’s Day card from me.
boss: why are you peeing on the floor? mikeski: i already filled up your coffee cup.
I`m good at counting cards. I keep ending up with 52.
The most impressive thing about marathon runners is how they don’t check their phone for 3 hours.
Today I´m going to entertain the kids with a game of duct, duct, tape.