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You just don`t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.
"I`m on my way." -People who haven`t even left the house yet.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Your french fries are just my french fries on the wrong plate.
My wife and I use the pull-out method of birth control where we pull out our phones and ignore each other every night.
IMPORTANT REMINDER: Sunday is Mother`s Day, which means Facebook is gonna be annoying as crap...
I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting. I nearly couldn`t finish my sandwich.
My alarm clock is clearly jelouse of my amazing relationship with my bed.
Cheer Up. Right now, somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you naked.
You know it`s getting bad when the voices in your head start texting you
With my eyes. That`s how I roll.
There are no words to describe how I feel about you... Good thing God invented the middle finger.
I think that a lot of conflict that happened in the Wild West could`ve been avoided had architects in those days just made their towns big enough for everyone.
gua suka sama kamu
Ever wish the choice you made and the “right thing to do” were the same thing?