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Mythbusters is basically my childhood with a much larger explosives budget.
I know you`re the instructor but I`ve seen Ghost 47 times so I know for a fact this IS how pottery is made!
“Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.”
“Single and ready to mingle” is the fancy way of saying “Alone and desperate”
my friends status was "standing on the edge of a cliff" ... so I poked him
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she`s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Three words to ruin a woman`s ego. "I can`t tell."
Did you know statistically you`re more likely to be killed by a coconut falling from a tree than by a coconut stabbing you with a kitchen knife.
I know I don`t look like it but I`m really good looking!
Isn`t it weird when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.
If you really want to know how she feels about you, get her drunk & then piss her off.
Missed connection: you were washing your car in a bathing suit. I rode past your house 78 times. You threw a rock at me.
Ringing in the “New Year” apparently is not a valid excuse for showing up to work 3 hours late… in October.
I hate when people passive-aggressively post vague, indirect statuses. You know who you are...
Who ever says "words can`t hurt you" has never been hit in the face with a dictionary.