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I wish the "Do not ask me again" option existed in real life.
To the guys complaining about lack of sex from their woman: supply & demand. Supply better product, they`ll demand it more. -Bfanch
If airports are so safe, why are the buildings called Terminal
I`m pretty sure apple kid below needs help..
What if in like 30 years they made a film about Leonardo DiCraprio and how he never won an Oscar…and the actor who played him got an Oscar.
Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.
Key to a great marriage ... Lack of imagination.
If my company really wanted us to move during a fire drill, they`d lose the alarm and just announce that there`s free food by the stairs.
Some people are like rain clouds. Once they f*ck off, it`s a beautiful day.
Screaming out "BOOM PREGNANT!" during sex is never as funny as you think it will be.
Non alcoholic beer is like porn movie on a radio
Make yourself indispensable at work by hiding everything.
Nintendo should handle education, I don’t remember half the crap from high school but I know all of Super Mario World’s secrets.
Don`t ask me for childcare advice unless you want nuggets of wisdom like "always punch holes in the box so they can breathe."
Be nice to me ... I may be hot one day.