Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Roses are red Your thong is pink Cover that up You`re not as hot as you think.
Waffles are just pancakes with abs.
This nude beach would be great!...if I wasn`t the only one participating.
My son asked what it is like to be married, so I deleted all the music on his ipod except 1 song.
Pretty sure autocorrect and Siri talk shit about me behind my back.
If you feel down because you had a bad day! Chin up! Tomorrow is another day and the worst has yet to come!
There`s a sense of great satisfaction when I`m the tie breaker between `Funny` and `Not Funny` status updates.
If my company really wanted us to move during a fire drill, they`d lose the alarm and just announce that there`s free food by the stairs.
Not quite feeling myself today. I`m going to see if booze helps...
I simply haven’t seen enough solid evidence that suggests not drinking is better than drinking.
One time I was in a bar and there was this really weird guy pouring booze all over his hand. Turned out he was trying to get his date drunk
Of course the Pilgrims had a lot to be thankful for, all their in-laws were back in Europe.
Be good ... or I will text Santa
I want to meet the guy at Hewlett Packard who decides how many minutes of strange noises their printers make before printing 1 page.
Whenever I think of a funny status I always get a pen and write it down so I can use it later, and if the pen is too far away I just convince myself that it wasn’t that funny anyway.