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Doctors and scientists agree on the benefits of an afternoon nap, yet still my boss thinks he knows better. Ridiculous.
“What doesn’t kill you makes you smaller.” ~Mario
"It`s not a pyramid scheme" is a phrase almost exclusively used by people involved in pyramid schemes
Iron Man is a superhero. Iron woman is a command.
Have we considered putting Scooby Doo and the gang on the Malaysian airplane caper?
I quit my job at the helium factory today. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.
I just want you all to know, whatever problems you might be having, I`m here to `like` them.
Sometimes I`ll catch my reflection in a mirror and I`ll be like, "oh no, that can`t be right."
It`s 2014 and somehow we still don`t have a car mirror that can make objects appear exactly as far away as they are.
Is Nudeism a religion?
I`ve come to the point where I don`t even procrastinate anymore ... I just don`t do it.
SAFETY TIP: Lock your doors and windows before bed. By the way, I love what you`ve done with the place.
Let this be known as my Living Will. I do not wish to be cremated. If the Zombie Apocalypse happens I would like to be a part of it.
You think you have a tough job? I clean the windows on automatic doors.
If I get a million likes on Facebook......not a damn thing will change.