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I think before we vote we should get the politicians drunk. That way they would speak what`s REALLY on their minds.
At the end of the day, it`s 11:59pm.
Bitches be trippin..... ok, maybe I pushed that one.
I hope the meteorite crash in Russia doesn`t affect the price of Vodka!
I have no problem admitting that you made a mistake.
She was rare, like an onion ring in french fries
If your friends can accurately guess your age, you need to find dumber friends.
Knock knock Who`s there? Control Freak. Now you say "Control Freak who?"
Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram have taught us that for every giant technological leap ahead, we will find a way to use it for dumb sh!t.
Girls just wanna have funds.
Please don`t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I`m awesome doesn`t mean I like you.
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of sh!t going on?
Whenever a wrong number calls me and hangs up I always call em back and tell them it was their loss because I`m really fun to talk to.
When I`m bored, I send a text to a random number saying, " I hid the body, now what?"