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I left work in slow motion but it didn’t blow up behind me.
Mosquito (noun) - Mother Nature`s way of getting you to slap yourself.
Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will only be jingling "part" of the way this year, as usual ur patience is appreciated.
I was thinking earlier, thats all, just wanted everyone to know that it does happen from time to time........
At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture.
I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.
I hide from people too, so I get it bigfoot, I get it.
Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside.
Where did Noah keep his bees? ... In the ark hives ... Yes, I`m showing myself out, thanks
I’m always impressed when I can stump auto-correct...
If a woman is talking to me about her problems, I better be the cause of them.
Smoke a joint before hitting a buffet to really get your money`s worth...Just saying.
I have said it before. I will at it again. If anyone is into wife swapping. I will take a dirtbike or a puppy. Hit me up.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... The five stages of waking up.
Never underestimate the power of cleavage.