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He died doing what he loved, annoying the hell out of me and not believing I would stab him.
I put ALL my eggs in one basket at the grocery store.... Today..!!
Similarities between BRA and BAR 1. Both have similar letters 2. Both are drinking zones 3. When both opened men go crazy "prove me wrong"
Apparently not checking the mail is not a valid excuse for not paying your bills. The more you know.
I just drink until the sadness becomes hilarious.
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. It’s giving payment when payment is due that I seem to struggle with.
Thanks to the popularity of gifs, we are living in the golden age of silent films.
I`m not mental, other wise the rubber duckies would have told me by now...
Sixth in line to the throne takes on a different meaning when you’re not in the royal family but in a dive bar.
Thinking about staying in tonight? Nobody looks back in life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
If only my goals were to be poor, lazy and out of shape.
A dirty mind is f*cking beautiful!
People say laughter is the best medicine, but I’d like to think a beer is the way to go.
I don`t get why girls get so offended by sexist jokes..I think they are just ovary-acting. Seriously..
I’m watching this show on stalkers, still haven’t seen any of you yet.