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A fun way to get exercise is grab a chainsaw and chase a hiker.
It`s not stretching if it doesn`t involve crazy dinosaur noises.
The real problem with this generation is that the cartoons suck.
Deadliest Catch and Jersey Shore - two reality tv shows about catching crabs
2 can keep a secret if one of them is dead...
The sense of success when you’ve had something stuck between your teeth and you manage to free it after 25 mins of tactical tongue pressure.
I’d like to see the dollar store get a liquor license.
"Go left at the chopsticks in the road" - Chinese directions
Kid, I can take you out the same way I brought you into this world, by making it look like an accident.
I`ve learned more from one season of "Shark tank", than I ever learned in four years of buisness school.
Don`t waste your time being difficult. Put forth a little more effort and be impossible.
I have a dream that one day I won`t have to work on MLK Day.
Am I the only one who closes the silverware drawer with an epic pelvic thrust?
if your morning beverage isn`t half booze/half coffee, you`re doing Saturday wrong.
The new iPhone will have a finger print scanner. Or, in other words, Apple is about to amass the largest database of biometric data in the world. I’m sure the people of NSA are dancing like little school girls right now.