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People that use statistics in everyday arguments are a$$holes 100% of the time.
I am going to write a book about A.D.D., because .. I love fishing. -LOL
I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better.
When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it…
Pac-Man taught me that you can eat ghosts if you take enough pills.
One out of every 4 Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they´re okay, then it´s you.
Alex, I`ll take WTF for a $1000
I hate lying to kids but my daughter asked me what twerking was and I told her it was when identical twins go to each others` jobs
A small child called 911 upon seeing a zebra because he thought a horse escaped from jail
I`m single by choice. Just not my choice.
The text message is the new greeting card, but without any hope that there will be money inside.
Just saw a guy checking out my wife. Good luck buddy. I’m married to her and I don’t even have a chance.
I just witnessed a co worker eat a cupcake with no frosting ... What kind of devil worshiping nonsense is this?
I`ve been having real problems with nuisance phone calls lately. The most common one seems to be "You said you`d be home from the bar three f*cking hours ago!"
Have you ever loved someone so much, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping