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I`m not sure what post it was that caused me to lose 2 more Facebook friends today, but if I find out which one it was I will make sure to post it again....
Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
It`s impossible to look cool while holding onto a leash attached to a dog who is taking a crap.
I`ve been married to my wife 10 years today. Having sex with just one person in 10 years is pure dedication. I don`t know how she does it.
Yikes. don`t google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"
I can`t believe the music that kids listen to now-a-days! What ever happened to wholesome music like "Push It" and "Me So Horny"?
I answered the door in my underwear. That WAS the tip, pizza guy!
I bought a box of "SO CALLED" Hot Pockets --- brought them home, and opened one to eat it, and the Damned thing was FROZEN ----- Miis-Advertizing at it`s BEST!!! Now what do I do with the Damned thing???? :-P
Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.
I`ve decided that I`m an ass man. Don`t get me wrong, horses are beautiful. They just aren`t as cute as donkeys.
Inviting a friend to play Candy Crush Saga is like hosting an intervention and providing the crack.
I`m at my neighbor`s house having the most delicious dinner. Hope I finish before they get home!
No, whenever there`s trouble, YOU always seem to be around ... officer.
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
Not to brag, but, I`ve already consumed 174% of my daily fat requirement.