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I got on-line to check the weather...That was 12 years ago.
I like holding the door for people who are far away, you know so they have to run a little.
If there`s one thing that I`ve learned it`s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
Telling my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage
The older I get .... The more dangerous it is to sneeze
What`s the right age to stop running naked from the bedroom to the bathroom?
Internet dating: the odds are good but the goods are odd.
Oh I thought it was wait 30 YEARS after eating before you exercise.
The best thing about owning a Smart Car is if you get too drunk at the bar you can just carry it home.
If I were Noah, Iād be grabbing two of every bottle of alcohol
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of sh!t going on?
If you have a Selfie Stick Pro, go back two spaces.
I`m on a whiskey diet. So far I`ve lost 3 days.
My 5 year plan includes purchasing a Slurpee machine.
If you really can make $10,000 a month working from home why would anyone take the harder job of nailing those signs to trees?