Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A gun is like a coupon that works anywhere.
My dog doesn`t always bark like there`s an intruder in the house, but when he does he waits until I`m home alone and in the shower.
I`m sorry, I`ll be busy this weekend walking around my house with mini alcohol bottles and fun size candy bars pretending I`m a giant.
Why is there a show called "When animals attack"? It should be called "When stupid people go near dangerous animals."
WOULD YOU RATHER: have six arms or giant antlers? (You don’t really get a choice; the surgeons were just sort of curious.)
99 Days Facebook Free? Big deal! In 1999 I went a whole year without Facebook.
I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.
According to WebMD I have déjà vu... but not only that, I also have déjà vu according to WebMD.
Sometimes, I question my sanity ... Sometimes, it replies
October is breasts cancer month. I stare because I care.
You have no idea how funny I am to me.
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules.
I hate getting my picture taken. Especially in front of a height chart at the police station.
I was thinking about jumping on the Patriot`s Fan bandwagon, but I am afraid that the tires would be deflated...
It`s not you, it`s me. I can`t stand you.