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Why do some people call it a "tuna-fish" sandwich? It`s not like anyone calls it a "chicken-bird" sandwich.
Research shows that, when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" ... He in fact did.
Just about the time I started to give a crap, my attitude became constipated......
if your an astronaut, and you don`t end a relationship with "look, I just need space.." then your wasting everyones time
I can read Spanish, Chinese, Russian and Italian. As long as it`s written in english.
If you ain`t laughin, you ain`t livin!
I`m an accident looking for a place to happen!
I don’t care how loud I’m laughing, I’m having fun and you’re not.
FYI....just in case something happens.....The cashier at the liquor store down the street is my emergency contact person.
A cross-eyed teacher has no control over her pupils
pharmacy was out of my BP meds...so i bought a baseball bat instead..that works much faster
You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..
My friend is showing me her new vegan handbag. I know vegans can be annoying, but should we really be making accessories out of them?
I’m going to be very busy in the afterlife. the list of people I’m going to haunt grows everyday.
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them so damn often.