Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Got in touch with my inner self this morning. That`s the LAST time I buy single ply toilet paper.
They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
If I`ve learned anything from 50 Shades of Grey, its that women still haven`t figured out you can watch porn at home... for free.
Google was first named, `BackRub`. If they hadn`t changed the name, we`d be saying, `I don`t know, go BackRub it.`
My apartment is so dirty that I actually lost my last girlfriend to the 5 second rule.
Facebook.. reminds me a lot of high school. Full of alcohol, drugs, jealousy, sexual frustration and a bunch of boobs I`ll never get to touch.
I`d publish my autobiography but it`s just a bunch of liquor stained pages filled with doodles, and rants about stupid people.
I swear I saw a guy earlier today that had no chin and all I could think about was, how does he put on pillow cases?
Go ahead, judge me. Wait, let me get my bat first. Alright, I`m ready now.
Today is opposite day. Wait...if today is opposite day and I say that it is opposite day that means today isn`t opposite day. If it isn`t opposite day then how cAn I say today is opposite dAy? I`m so confused -.-
Posting inspirational quotes online is the first sign to depression.
Why is it when you take a break from Facebook everyone assumes you`re happy and in love ... Maybe I was in jail.
I ate the whole box of Slim Fast bars. So excited about how skinny I`ll be when I wake up tomorrow.
How many servings of fruit are in a fruit roll up? I`m trying to take my diet seriously now.
I just bought a house, car and a boat with no payments until 2013. Those f`ing Mayans better be right…