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Welcome to journalism, where everything is made up, and the sources don`t matter.
That person who waits to the last minute to change lanes and expects you to make room. NOT ON MY WATCH!
Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! -Librarians arguing
You know you`re getting old when one huge fart throws out your back.
llllllloooollllll...........................i saw a donkey on a bike
Always bring a stopwatch to church, guys. You want the girl that spends the longest amount of time in confession.
Me blacking out when I`m drunk is God`s way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business.
Telling people your phone is gonna die, But you really just don’t want to text them.
In America, someone is shot every 15 seconds ... How is that person still alive?
A new day : the possibilities, endless. the funds, insufficient.
If you are not sweating while doing it...then you are doing it wrong.
I wish I was full of tacos instead of feelings.
Without coffee, I’m just a really tall 2 year old.
I`m going to invent a cleaning product that kills .1% of all germs and bacteria. It doesn`t sound very effective, but I`m going to get it placed right next to all the other cleaning products that kill 99.9% of all germs and bacteria.
Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject