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Remember the good old days when making the “duck face” involved 2 Pringles?
I`d gladly eat raw eggs before my workout provided those eggs were inside brownie batter.
“A body at rest tends to stay at rest” should be an acceptable excuse for missing work.
Sugar` is the only word in English that starts with `su` and sounds like `sh`. I`m sure of it.
When I`m sad, I sing...Then I realise my voice is worse than my problems.
I wish there was an observation deck at WalMart.
That moment when you run into a spider web and suddenly become a karate master.
I`m the guy at the gym laying face down on the treadmill telling everyone "I`m ok, I`m ok"
When life gives you melons, wear a low cut top.
I just bought a medical alert bracelet that says ... "Probably just sh!tfaced."
We should remove the warning labels from everything and let the stupidity problem take care of itself.
I`ve accidentally swallowed a load of scrabble pieces.........My next poop could spell trouble.
I never cry over spilt milk. But, beer? That sh!t`s totally different.
Got kicked out of the casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something.
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears