Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I accidentally wore green today. And I probably will be drunk later but NOT because it`s St. Patrick`s Day, because it`s Monday.
People say circumcision dosen`t hurt. I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn`t walk for nearly a year.
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig ? The letter F ?
The part of “no” that I don’t understand is the part where I don’t get what I want.
The only dates I get are updates.
My identity was stolen. I hope they do a better job with my life than I did!
Call me lazy, but if it takes two clicks I’m not reading it.
I hate sharing popcorn with someone at the cinema and our fingers touch. Especially if I don`t know them, and they don`t know we`re sharing.
Cooking Tip: If you`re tired of always having to boil water everytime you make pasta, boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later ... you`re welcome!
When I was a kid, I told my parents I was going to make something of myself. I think they are getting impatient.
The best thing about living in the southern U.S. is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense.
you can´t drink all day if you don´t start in the morning
"American Pie" ruined it for any kid that actually does have an amazing story from band camp.
Driving a Dodge doesn`t automatically make you a defensive driver.
A guy had his whole left side torn off, the doctor said he`s all right.