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Flat screens are nice and all, but they`ll never compare to the television/record player/ liquor cabinet combo extravaganza we had as kids.
Bigger isn`t always better. Thighs, for example.
Lord, grant me the courage to be the person I am under my breath.
Should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind, should all acquaintance be forgot and somebody refill my wine.
What if the lightbulb had never been invented? How would we know when someone has a really good idea?
Never look at your beer as half-empty. Look at it as you’re halfway to your next beer.
I finally found a machine at the gym I like: the vending machine!
I`m sorry, all I hear is your perfume
More celebrities should donate blood. I mean, imagine having the blood of Will Smith running through your veins.
My cat just dragged in a half eaten sausage, I have no idea where he got it from but it tastes expensive.
Do you ever wish that you could just unmeet someone.
If you people knew how expensive, time consuming and hard this stalking stuff is you wouldn`t freak out every time you see me in your bushes.....geesh
I swear 90% of the contacts in my phone are useless.
Note to Self: Wearing headphones do not make my farts silent.
I’m watching this show on stalkers, still haven’t seen any of you yet.