Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why is it that whenever there`s two women in a profile pic, the hot one is always someone else..?
Dear Mom, If all my friends jumped off a cliff, it`s because it was my idea. Sincerely, Your child is a leader, not a follower.
The recipe said "prick with a fork,",,,, but enough about me.
Does all this status updating make my ego look fat?
If you can´t amaze people with your intelligence, confuse them with your bullsh*t
Proposing to a woman isn`t like choosing a life-long business partner. It`s more like hiring your own boss.
Today I am thankful for my family....and this 5th of vodka that helps me deal with them.
According to serving sizes tonight, I`m a family of 4.
Adding "and sh!t" at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.
I hate waiting until I`m dead. I want to haunt people now dammit.
I dont mind going to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is bullsh*t
B!tch, please! You`re so fake, even barbie is jealous of you
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.
If two donuts are stuck together it counts as one right?
I think Facebook now comes under the housework category.