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Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it`s Wednesday.
I`m really wanting to sit and watch a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?
I’m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You’re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what’s going on here.
If someone says you used too much butter or cheese on something, stop talking to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity
I`ve taken my kids all over the country, but their favorite place to be is still "in the way."
My wife is pissed at me again...appearently I am breathing wrong.
I quit my job and handed in my badge and gun to my boss, he said, why do you have a gun? You work at McDonald’s.
"2, 4, 6, 8!! Ride my face let`s fornicate!!!" And with that, HR banished me from all future employee picnics.
i forgot how to put a status ... can anyone help me ?
I`m flattered that you took time out from your lack of a life to judge mine.
If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
The only difference between Black Friday and a zombie apocalypse is that zombies don`t care if you get the last iPad Mini.
Things ain`t nobody got time for: That
I had your cake and ate it too.
Why is "Pissed" an expression of being upset? I`ve never been so mad that I pee`d myself.