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Before you decide to spend less time on social media... make sure you go to every social media website and tell everyone.
This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. Were this to be an actual emergency you’d be screwed, because no one takes this seriously.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
FYI: Push-up bras don`t actually help you do more push-ups :(
Why is it called stealing when your WIFI is trespassing in my house?
You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
There was a glorious time, before social media, when you would just lose touch with people.
It is a sad day when you go to all the trouble of getting a Frontal Lobotomy and no one notices.....................
Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life! Unless you’re an idiot. In that case, please listen carefully.
I love finding money in my clothes. It’s like a gift to me ... from me.
On the bright side, it’s Friday Eve Eve Eve.
Parenting is no different than a bear attack. Curl up and play dead and they usually leave you alone.
Some of my friendships are bad for my liver.
9 of 10 voices in my head telI me I `m crazy. One hums ...
I don`t get women. Also, I don`t understand them.