Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

If you watch COPS backwards it`s just a bunch of people overcoming miraculous obstacles to win free drugs
📘 Share on Facebook🐦 Share on X
Making a woman laugh is one of the keys to winning her heart, unless she’s laughing at your junk.
📘 Share on Facebook🐦 Share on X
Gatorade always has athletes in their commercials sweating and working hard. They really should target their real consumer. A Fat guy on the couch nursing a hangover. Is it in you?
📘 Share on Facebook🐦 Share on X
It takes one slow walking person in the grocery store, to remove the illusion that I`m a nice person.
📘 Share on Facebook🐦 Share on X
Don`t worry about the grass on the other side. It`s not your grass.
📘 Share on Facebook🐦 Share on X
All shoes are technically buy one get one free...
📘 Share on Facebook🐦 Share on X
YOU KNOW WHY!!!!!!!!!!
📘 Share on Facebook🐦 Share on X
When I was young I was scared of the dark. Now when I see my electricity bill I am scared of the lights.
📘 Share on Facebook🐦 Share on X
Today I am thankful for my family....and this 5th of vodka that helps me deal with them.
📘 Share on Facebook🐦 Share on X
*spits out animal cracker* This doesn`t even taste like hippo.
📘 Share on Facebook🐦 Share on X
I repaired my blow up doll with superglue.....that was an awkward trip to the emergency room (<>..<>)
📘 Share on Facebook🐦 Share on X
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait....
📘 Share on Facebook🐦 Share on X
DO NOT expect a "Bless You" after your 3rd sneeze. Get that sh!t under control.
📘 Share on Facebook🐦 Share on X
The person before me got $0.57 worth of gas. My day doesn`t seem so bad now.
📘 Share on Facebook🐦 Share on X
I fake my lol`s
📘 Share on Facebook🐦 Share on X