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Let`s run away together.. Lol jk, I don`t run anywhere.
Nothing makes you feel more like a kid than the right breakfast cereal. Lucky Charms for me please!
A lot of you lose your sh!t and have some pretty epic, public meltdowns. I just wanted to say thanks.
A snail can sleep for up to 3 years. I didn`t know it was even possible to be this jealous.
Good judgement comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgement
Pizza gal reads my order back to me and says,"You have one large thick sausage, anything else?" With a smirk I reply,"Yes, I`d also like to order a pizza."
My personality is 30% the last movie I watched.
It`s all good and well until the fecal matter impacts the electric powered air current generation device.....
Unwritten Rule of the Day: Don´t make eye contact while eating a banana.
It`s pretty amazing how many times my daughter likes to say "it`s not fair!" considering she has never had to pay taxes
Give up, itsy-bitsy spider. It wasn`t meant to be.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
I’m not positive that having the TV volume on an odd number will destroy the world, but lets not risk it.
Why would a married man buy a hearing aid?
The first guy who made fire by rubbing two sticks together probably did a lot of other weird sh!t.