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I`m going to make a bucket list: Things I`m going to do before I kick the bucket. Number 1: WEAR SHOES!!!
Kiss me I`m Irish, put a little tongue in it, I`m French too
I`m really sick and tired of food having calories...
I`ve set my "life goals" to stuff I`ve already done so literally every day now I`m overachieving. It`s all about perspective.
Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you`ll get if you`re able to "fall asleep right now."
Currently in the planning stages for a hangover.
I’m exhausted just thinking of everything I have to do.
Sometimes I think "What would Dexter do"?
It`s Friday the 13th. Good thing I`m not superstitious, it`s unlucky to be superstitious...
The Internet: 1% information 1% jokes 98% outrage over information and jokes
I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you`re good with grammar you`ll get it.
The coolest tourist attraction in the world is the Sistine Chapel, because it`s full of ceiling fans.
My alarm clock is clearly jelouse of my amazing relationship with my bed.
When I was a kid “The Server Is Down” meant your waiter was depressed.
It`s time to admit that as a species, we are just not ready for 4-way stops