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I hate those idiots with those bright halogen lights that are blinding, at least they can see my one finger salute.
“They dared me to” is ALWAYS a valid excuse.
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn`t for any religious reasons. They couldn`t find three wise men and a virgin.
Guys, if my hair doesn`t look like a birds nest afterward, you`re doing it wrong.
I hate when people call me and ask "WHO IS THIS?"
Don`t you just a hate it when you stumble into bed drunk only to be nagged by someone screaming "Get out" or "You live next door!"
I`m starting to get that "f*ck it" attitude about everything..
You haven`t truly made it on YouTube until someone recognizes you in the unemployment line and asks for your autograph.
If you pull the pin out of a grenade, can you put it back in and let go? I`m going to need a quick answer for this....
Monday: A terrible way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Teacher: Have a seat! Student: Thanks! *picks up the chair and leaves* -- (°_°)
Why isn`t cat food made from birds, mice and squirrels??
If you can`t handle me at my worst, then that sucks because that`s all there is to me.
I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke
Sleep is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is police.