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If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it than how bad of a decision can it really be?
I wonder how long I’d be on hold if my call wasn’t important to them...
I have lots of great personality traits. Or as my doctor calls them, symptoms.
Got interrupted downloading the new version of iTunes by a pop up that asked if I wanted to download the even newer version of iTunes.
Ugh, I have an ingrown hair and it really hurts. This sounds like a job for medical marijuana.
My friend told me that bigamy was having one wife to many. I thought that was called monogamy.
I`m sorry, I live in the U.S. so I don`t really get the metric system. How much exactly is "in moderation"?
I like long walks on the beach and drives through Taco Bells drive-thru.
Breaking news: Newt saw his shadow. Six more weeks of campaigning and attack ads.
I cannot turn water into wine but, I can turn ice cream into breakfast so that’s pretty neat.
"You`re so cute!" works as a response to anything my girl says 99% of the time when I`m not listening which is 99% of the time.
I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. Good times.
I got a new high score today ... Sadly, it was on my bathroom scale
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
One of the saddest days of my life was when I heard that bears sleep for half the year and I realized I had been born the wrong species