Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How is it possible that we have one hand that can do everything while the other hand is all, “I can’t even hold a pencil”?
Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
Tomorrow is International "Cook a Steak and Then Throw It to a Seagull" Day. Get involved. Don`t question it.
If I weren´t such an alcoholic I would throw my drink in your face
If you don`t like me now, you won`t like me later because I just get worse.
Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you`ll get what you want.
If it wasn’t for profanity, I wouldn’t be a pro at anything.
I may not be a veterinarian, but I know a horses a$$ when I meet one.
My mother said, "You won`t amount to anything because you procrastinate." I said, "Oh ya.....Just you wait."
Why do people say ``I saw it with my own eyes." Do they sometimes use other peoples eyes?
How much Hershey`s Chocolate Syrup can I add before it`s really not a SlimFast shake anymore?
May you have a prosperous New Year. I may need to borrow money.
My grandfather once waited in line for 36 hours to get a loaf of bread and I can`t wait two seconds for a Youtube video to load.
We`re all just nudists in disguise...
Studies show that men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. Unless your wife finds out.