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WebMD needs to add the question "Have you eaten Taco Bell today?" when asking about stomach-related symptoms.
I was pretty sure that at this point in my career I would have henchmen by now!
Why fart and waste it, when you can burp and taste it
If I ignored you any harder, we`d be married.
Remember that there’s always someone cooler, smarter, stronger or sexier than you. That would be me.
Everyone has a right to their own opinion, no matter how wrong they are. And that`s why we have a problem.
I accidentally ran over my neighbour`s cat........... Nine times....... just in case
I would watch NASCAR if it was more like Mario Kart.
I think all priuses are gay transformers living here on earth
Hi, we`re a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can`t ever find our dog.
Male or female, no one f*cks with you if you put your lipstick on like The Joker.
I’m “had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn’t pick up and start dialing” years old.
Who am I calling stupid?? Good question.... What`s your name?!
Don`t let anyone tell you what you can`t accomplish. That`s what self-doubt is for.
I turned out ok for a kid raised in a large part by Bugs Bunny.