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Why are you showing me pictures of your kid if you have a dog?
Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
“Let me rephrase this question so I can get pissed off at you all over again.” - WOMEN
Sure, I`ll go to your open bar and watch you get married.
I had a blind date once, her name was ..::..::.:::::…:::::
A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don`t have to be nice anymore.
If you have alphabet fridge magnets and morals, you probably shouldn`t invite me over.
My girlfriend told me I`m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman... What a joker!
While wearing a bikini you show 90% of your body -But men are so polite, that they stare only at the covered places.
I love sleeping, but I never want to go to bed early.
Why don`t they just get Jehovah`s Witnesses to deliver the mail?
Back in my day it was called daydreaming…not ADHD.
The moment you empty your vacuum cleaner is the moment you become a vacuum cleaner.