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I believe in karma that means I can do bad things to people I don’t like and assume they deserved it.
No one’s going to do it for you. It’s up to just you to make naps a priority in your life.
Don`t ask me how my night was coz I don`t know. I was asleep.
At least thirty percent of my workout is spent picking a different song.
I never said I was better than everyone else, just better than you.
My hair looks amazing today. I hope I see everybody I hate.
If your drug dealer is always on time he is a cop …
U make me wish I had more middle fingers
A piñata is NOT a good idea for a Halloween costume.
So people buy cookie dough and bake it?.... What the hell?
"Nothing there? Better bark at it." - my dog
Son, you don`t get anything in life without trying hard and working for it. Now be quiet, there about to announce the lottery results...
I believe in living every day like it`s my last day, and on my last day, I plan to take it easy.
It should really be called teethpaste.
Trivia - It turns out that Alexander the Great was not all that great. But in those days, nobody had the guts to call him Alexander the SO-SO