Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I would like to discuss tennis but I wouldn`t want to cause a racket
At my age I can no longer function without my glasses. Especially when they`re empty.
Is it wrong to tell a knock knock joke to a homeless person ?
I hate the snow so much, I want to build a snowman just so I can punch it in its face.
You gotta push yourself. Do 15 push-ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat an entire cake instead of just one piece. Burn your ex`s house down. I believe in you!
Whoa! Thank you warning label! I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
Sometimes the smartest thing you can do is play dumb.
What doesn`t kill you makes you have lots of hospital bills.
I was jogging earlier and...LMAO, I`m sorry...I can`t start a status with such ridiculousness.
I did a half hour on the treadmill each day last week. This week, I`m up to 1 hour a day. I`m slowly building up to actually turning it on some time in the future.
I`d imagine the only thing worse then getting your period is not getting your period.
This coffee would work better if I could throw it at people.
That awkward moment when you type your password where you should`ve typed your email, and your friend`s standing right there -___-
If Guys Wrote Valentine’s Cards: “I don’t even need beer to think you’re attractive.”
Arm wrestling is DEFINITELY the manliest sport where Two dudes hold hands...