Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
New Rule: If I hold the door open for you and you walk by without thanking me I am guaranteed at least one attempt at trying to trip you.
Whoever invented marriage was creepy as hell. Like, hey you, I love you so much, I`m gonna get the government involved so you can`t leave.
Just because you think it`s a bad idea doesn`t mean we won`t have a good time.
You can’t call them “love handles” if nobody loves you
April Fools Day has been cancelled this year.
Your family tree must look like a cactus........everybody on it is a pr!ck
So you constantly feel sorry for yourself and feel the need to tell everyone all about it. I can’t imagine why he left you.
You know your old when your back goes out more than you do.
God made men. But sandwiches weren`t going to make themselves. So God made women.
Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up... In 30 minutes? in 3 hours? in 9 years?? no one can be sure
I just encountered a spider bigger than my desire to be the man of the house.
Whatever “Estimated Time of Arrival” on the GPS. Challenge accepted.
The little piggy who went to market... wasn`t going shopping. Wrap your mind around that for a moment.
When life gives you lemons....throw them back and yell, "I wanted cookies!"
Get Dora and Boots on this missing plane case now, Dora solves the case everytime