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There are over 4 million workplace injuries reported every year. Play it safe…call in sick tomorrow.
I’m not here to judge, I’m just pointing out all the mistakes you’re making.
A word of advice, stay on my good side. My good side is in Hawaii.
That weird moment when u just say "what`s up " to someone and they thing you`re a shrink.
Dear alcohol we had a deal where you were supposed to make me cool, sexy, charming and a great dancer........I seen a video......we need to talk.
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
"Wow, that Hungry Man TV dinner sure lives up to its name!" said no hungry man ever.
All these people are talking about finding Jesus, finding love, finding themselves... I`m like I found 63 cents and four Fritos in the couch!
Revenge is not in my plans. You`ll f*ck yourself on your own.
I don’t think girls realize how handsome my mom says I am.
My son got one of those `Stop Bullying` wristbands. he took it away from a fat little ginger kid.
If you don`t have anything nice to say, put it all on social networks
Get ahead of myself. Sometimes I
Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves ...That`s where I come in...
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered is god playing angry birds hmm