Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Really had my heart set on waking up rich today.
Remember the good old days when making the “duck face” involved 2 Pringles?
can´t seem to find love. but its okay. I know exactly where the beer is.
Do you ever order a club sandwich just to feel like you`re a part of something?
"He sure seems like a nice young man" is Grandma-speak for "I`d totally hit that."
How are poor people so good at finding money for tattoos?
After how long is it ok to tell your friends that they are imaginary?
Why aren`t we letting blind people think that dragons are real?
I’m home alone. Time to start my concert.
If my jokes offend you: 1. I’m sorry. 2. It won’t happen again. 3. 1 & 2 are lies. 4. You’re a wussy.
I will kill you with kindness even if I have to beat the sh!t out of you.
If anybody in North America needs a napkin, hit me up. I should have enough in my car’s glovebox for each of you.
I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn.....it`s dead yarn now, though.
You know you are in the hood when your portable GPS says “Drive faster and put me under the seat.”
I hate it when people tell me I look young for my age because it implies my age is old.