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So tell me, does it hurt to be so full of sh!t?
You call the shots. I`ll drink them.
Personally, I believe that around 93% of the world`s population should run with scissors.
I`m ashamed of what I did for a Klondike bar.
I saw a chameleon today. I guess it was a pretty crappy chameleon.
There`s no easy way to steal a watermelon.
Drive-Thru Workers: The longer you make me wait in line, the more change will be used for my payment...
thinks that decaffeinated coffee is just useless brown water.
Thank you for informing me that you have a stick figure family of 6 and a dog. Your minivan had me under the impression that you were wild and single.
Saw a Mime doing his gig. I reached into my purse and pretended to throw money in his hat.
I hope someone drives slightly slower in front of you on a crowded highway and you can’t pass.
24 hours in a day.. 24 beers in a case.. coincidence?
Don`t just be one of those people who stares at their phone or computer twelve hours a day. It`s important to also watch some TV.
Coffee eyedrops! Another million dollar idea.
Dear whoever ate my fries while i was in the ball pit at McDonald`s... grow up!!