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It doesn`t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full. There`s clearly room for more Alcohol
Do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they aren`t talking?
I must say I enjoy it more when a girl asks me out. To me, there`s nothing more attractive than that high level of confidence, initiative, and poor judgment.
Was shopping when a small child riding shotgun in a shopping cart yelling "why you ain`t got no babies?"I bet my father in law paid her
exactly how long is a cotton picking minute.
Why haven’t we just found someone ballsy enough to dress up as Mrs Bigfoot and catch him already?
You know your old when your back goes out more than you do.
Why aren`t they called A$$teroids instead of hemorrhoids???
I have the worst case of morning sickness. No I am not pregnant, my body just rejects mornings.
You don`t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine.
Good Morning: You, my friends are the reason I wake up every morning ? LOL JK, I have to pee.
Crayons are a lot like M & M`s, all the colors taste the same.
"Sarcasm is a body`s natural defense against stupid."
Join us in calling for a total ban of people. They are extremely dangerous. If you know any people, report them at once to the authorities.
My doctor recommended I increase the amount of Greens in my diet...so I started drinking more Rolling Rock.