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I ran out of coffee this morning, whisky seemed like an acceptable replacement. Everyone is so pretty today.
Rum balls, rum cake, rum spiked eggnog, rum in fruitcakes...you know, anymore, there`s more of the Captain than of Christ in Christmas...
The cable company told me they would send a guy out and I need to be home between the hours of 1pm and 2015.
Don’t piss off old people. The older they get, the less ‘life in prison’ is a deterrent.
Pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer.....me trying not to drop a child
People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.
Sometimes not being in control is the most awesome feeling in the world.
If you need time alone, announce that it`s time to clean the house.
It`s amazing how important someone can make you feel with a smile, a kind word or the occasional stalking.
I hear there is scientific proof that birthdays are good for you... the more you have the longer you live.
Lazy Rule #23 :No Shower Is Needed, If your Not Going Anywhere...
"Crazy" is just another name for "Someone who knows how to have fun"
Is professional lollygagger an actual job yet?
There is no such things as ghosts. I know, I asked Santa Claus
I`ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.