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Met a girl for a first date and quickly found out that her version of "Do you want to go downtown?" is vastly different than mine.
You don`t have to like me, I`m not a Facebook status.
Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I`ve only missed one day.
A reality show where a couple wins $10 million dollars if they show nobody a picture of their baby for the first 2 years.
It’s not you. It’s me finally realizing that you’re terrible.
My wife sure is picky for someone who married me.
Tomorrow is Valentines day, a holiday that comes along once a year to remind you that if you don`t have a special someone...I guess your alone.
One square left on the toilet roll and no extras in the cupboard. Well played, honey. Well played.
Of course you have a right to your own opinion. Just like I have a right to tell you to shove it up your a$$.
My therapist says I am too preoccupied by vengeance.... We`ll see about that.
My love for you is beyond words so don’t expect a Valentine’s Day card from me.
Roses are red and sometimes they`re thorny, when I think of you, I get really ...............
I`ve started an exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times.
What`s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don`t know and I don`t care.
Despite its name, Gatorade is pretty much fatal to alligators. I’m not allowed to volunteer at the zoo anymore.