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I may not have the best parenting skills; but, in my defense, my kids don`t have the best childing skills, either.
Do you ever notice that when you´re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
At the end of the day, life should ask us, ‘Do you want to save the changes?’
To whoever finds the $20 I dropped last night: spend it on alcohol. It`s what I would have wanted.
I look forward to paying off all my debt and finally getting back to just being broke.
I`m convinced some people got married just so they could gripe about being married...
I’d be much more interested in meeting people if I didn’t think most people were idiots.
It must really suck to take life so seriously that you can’t enjoy it.
I wonder if there are birds that prefer not to sing in the morning and that just roll around in their nests until noon.
Being a parent means hiding in a closet to eat a donut so you don`t have to share.
Don`t let anyone tell you what you can`t accomplish. That`s what self-doubt is for.
Sorry I missed your call ... I was to busy singing and dancing to the ringtone
Give a man a beer and he wastes an hour, teach him how to brew, and he wastes a lifetime.
just realised MR OWL ATE MY METAL WORM is exactly the same backwards
I spent the first 20 minutes of 2014 looking for the remote.