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I sent one of those swabs off for DNA sampling. Apparently, I`m 50% Crest, 25% Denture fixative, 13% kebab, and 12% Rum.
If suppositories were just a bit smaller, they would be a whole lot easier to swallow...........................
With all the technology these days, you`d think they would come up with an Online Gym where losing weight would be a click away
Ladies, how do I work my man boobs and get out of a ticket? Quick, she`s coming.
How do they even grow boneless chicken`s?
These old people at the bus stop really suck at paintball.
Who cares, WTF, OMG, so inappropriate, HOLY HELL ! Good LORD, not another selfie...WHOA NELLIE, NO, NO, and HELL NO!!! Me before unfriending someone.
Still waiting for the moment when there will be a "add to wishlist" button on people`s facebook profile !!
I feel like I am losing my mind !!! But as long as I can keep the bit that tells me when to pee, I should be OK !!
Don`t expect me not to hopscotch all over your house if you have fancy tiles.
99% of people in this world are stupid, luckily I`m in the other 2%
When people see ghosts, why aren`t they naked? Do clothes die and become ghosts too?
My newsfeed looks like a cross between a Civil War Soldier and ZZ Top photo album.
Facebook where I am surrounded with people but still no one can see me biting my toe nails or picking my nose :-D
The point is... Is Imma hug you like a panda nd you`re gunna like it.!(: