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Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, get wasted all the time and have the time of your life!
Of course I’ll buy a polished rock made into a necklace. I’m on vacation, aren’t I?
Statistics show that 3 out of 5 people.. aren`t the other 2.
Sometimes to much to drink is never enough
Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings...
I`ll decide whether it`s a compliment or sexual harassment.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions Note to self...avoid good intentions at all costs.
I hate when I drop my pen on the floor and it`s slightly out of reach so I leave it there forever.
Another day....another 0.2% of a dollar
“People will believe anything if you whisper it.”
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice ... it`s cuz you have really nice tits.
I’m home alone. Time to start my concert.
Well, if you`re going to question my reputation and credentials as a gynecologist,I suggest you get the hell out of my office van.
It`s spooky how many kids look like their owners.
My goal weight is,"someone give that girl a cheeseburger."