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Honestly, I have no idea what the f*ck I`ll do with 5 hours of energy.
The face jewelry is getting out of hand. I saw a guy today that looked like he had done a face plant in a tackle box.
The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience.
Let`s simplify this. Deliver a pizza to me every night unless I call.
If you have to ask if it`s too early to drink wine...You`re an amateur and we can`t be friends.
I want to give up coffee, but I`d hate to do that to my coworkers.
I show my age when I`m in a club with all the 20 somethings.. Guess its because the last dance step I mastered was dancing like Gene Gene The Dancing Machine
I don’t cut in front of people whenever I’m waiting in long line, that’s rude. I just start dancing & grinding on them until they get all weirded out & leave. Works every time.
Maybe there`s no such thing as automatic doors, just gentlemen ninjas.
People think that a girl`s dream is to find her perfect guy & be with him forever... That`s Crap! A girl`s dream is to eat without getting fat.
Those who tell you not to run with scissors are just trying to steal your scissors. Run.
Saying something stupid and thinking “Yeah, that sounded way better in my head"
Started working on my taxes today and learned why the form is called 1040. For every $50 I make, I get $10 and the gov`t gets $40...
My girlfriend went to the dentist for a cavity. It`s odd since she spends so much time in the bathroom with her electric toothbrush.
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books