Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I am so thankful there is no alert that tells someone how many times I have enlarged their profile pics.
They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
Sorry, kids. It appears ninjas ate all of our Halloween candy.
[the instructor clearly frustrated with me on first day of veterinary school] "It doesn`t matter if its a dog, it`s still called a cat scan"
Getting to places would be so much easier if I had a helicopter.
Don`t ask me stupid questions and I won`t hurt your stupid feelings.
Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn`t make a funny, cat-shaped hole
The trick to falling asleep is putting your phone down. Unfortunately, that`s not a risk I`m willing to take.
They say money talks, mine just waves goodbye.
People go to the bar hoping for two things ... to get hammered or to get nailed.
Overwhelming scientific evidence suggests a startling number of people are capable of ignoring overwhelming scientific evidence.
It doesn`t matter if you don`t like my personality... I have several more!
Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not a flow chart?
I want the drugs of the first guy who was like "DUDE, let`s carve a face into a pumpkin."
When in doubt, read Facebook Statuses, you`ll see you`re not the only crazy one around