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I`m allergic to stupidity ... which is why I break out in to sarcasm.
I`m not bothered if someone likes me or Not. Even Angels are hated by Demons.
The amount of times I`ve had to say no to the Adobe Updater has totally prepared me to be a parent.
You`re never too old to learn something stupid.
Spinning in circles to get dizzy as a child was my first attempt at getting high.
I`m bringing sexy back...if I only I can remember where I had it last....
I will be back in 5 minutes, if I am not then please read this again! :D
I`ve been catfishing my best friend for the last 3 weeks. He`s gunna pay me that $50 he owes me or I`m showing these emails to his wife.
I wish I could afford to have a drinking problem.
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven`t pooped it out yet ... Really scared now!
Judging by all of the cologne and shower sets I got for Christmas either people know I like to smell good or I am failing at it.
Hangman was my favorite childhood learning game that promoted hanging someone for a wrong answer.
People who eat grapes are impatient alcoholics
I’ve finally decided to do something about my weight ... Lie.
A sheep spends it`s entire life fearing the wolf only to be eaten by the Shepherd.