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I will do a lot of things but admitting I`m cold to my wife who told me to bring a warmer jacket isn`t one of them...
I do whatever the little voices tell me to do.
Somehow the talk went a little wrong with my 7 year old and now he`s convinced that birds have sex with bees and now he won`t eat honey.
Doctors who expect me to pee on command, I`m not some kind of stunt pee-er, you know.
I`ll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can`t live without
When you get angry at someone count out loud to ten. When you get to eight, throw a punch. Nobody expects that sh!t.
Worried that you may have a stalker? Shut up and just be happy someone likes you.
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they can`t laugh either.
I wish I could match my dog`s excitement to go outside.
I`m so glad my face doesn’t have a progress bar that shows how long it takes me to understand what someone is saying.
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational post are hard.
Without coffee, I’m just a really tall 2 year old.
Me in a shopping mall: "I like that stuff" *looks at pricetag* "i don`t like it anymore"
A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.
If you’re telling me to relax, it’s probably your fault that I’m not.